****Spoiler Notice****Don't read if you are in a relationship***
Some things that begin at adolescence form the foundation of a person’s mind and soul. Every person feels a void in his life; even the most accomplished person can’t seem to be completely satisfied with his life. Even in the presence of most loving and kind family members and friends, there seems to be loneliness; with no one to understand you.
People start to think about life, discover new things to share, new feelings emerge and an instinctual urge to be in the company of people arises.
The feeling of being lonely drives people to search for their so-called ‘soul mates’. (Yes, I mean GFs and BFs.)
You think that you will find someone who’ll care for you, understand you better and make you less lonely; probably you can actually share your feelings with someone who’ll actually listen to your problems and situations, your thoughts and emotions, and make you happier.
Okay. So why does it happen?
The reason is actually the combination of several factors: (I’ll mention the reasons in this article and in continuation if you’d like.)
First of all, hormones. You might be familiar with the ‘hormones’ part.
#1. Now, have you ever seen a cat chase a ball of fur? In case you understood the metaphor, relationship is like a ball of fur. Like the cat, it seems quite beautiful, charming or lucrative to you due to your thoughts that I mentioned above.
#2. In reality, it’s just something that seems interesting. It’s not meaningful or larger than life romance. It’s the human tendency to go against the rules, do something new, and enjoy it.
#3. You seek relationship because it is an asset that you have; it’s your own special ball of fur. You’re sure that it’s something beautiful, something you’ve earned after your conquest to impress that boy/girl. Possessing a relationship is, in your view, is something that brings you closer to a responsible and dignified person. You’re wrong. Your brain fed on thousands of romantic novels and movies actually leads you to believe that relationship is a beautiful thing. It destroys the innocence and sanctity of your soul.
Why it makes you Happy?
I must be wrong, you should say; because people are happy in their relationships, ecstatic, actually.
#4. Well, this reason might be the most important one. The answer to your apparent happiness lies in your own self. Go, some years back before your teenage years. You didn’t even like to be associated with girls in ‘that’ way. You still hate it when someone brings up a talk associated you and a girl in front of everyone. So what happened that made you change the way you think? You became bored of life, of being a child; of having to follow the life prescribed by your parents. You became desperate for attention, desperate for adventure, desperate for ‘fun’.
You went against your own conscience, because you were bored. No success, no adventure, life was monotonous. Now do you realize that there is no greater bliss than what you left behind?
#5. And even if my above arguments seem unconvincing, you must believe that some things are good and others bad. If your relationship is a ‘good’ thing, why don’t the people who love you most not approve of it? You say, they wouldn’t understand your feelings and relationship etc.
Actually, the argument is quite elementary in nature. It’s the plain old good vs. bad.
A person who loves you (like parents) would always want well for you. Always. (Now say again, they don’t understand my love etc.)
As I said, you’re misguided, you’ve been deeply brainwashed by this love propaganda. Pre-marital love affairs are immoral. They strip you off your innocence and purity. This kind of love is not in any world, close to being sacred.
Any person who is sensible would not approve of it. Think about it. Not your mother, if she knows what you’re up to. Or anyone who cares for you.
Having friends and companions is alright. But love affairs are taking it too far. You lose your dignity by making yourself available to someone.
More than 90% of relationships don’t lead to marriage. You might promise and commit to yourself I’ll marry that no one else except him/her. But everything dies, because it’s not sacred.
If you’re doing it just for the ‘fun’ of it, know that recklessness isn’t going to lead you anywhere.
Whatever amount of pleasure you derive from these actions, it is immoral and disrespectful in all aspects. You are ripping away your modesty.
Would a person who loves you, expect such things from you?
|Sha'az Ahmed Shams is a student of XI Science at Jamia Millia Islamia, New Delhi.|
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